


When You Seek Comfort

by Angel110



Category: EXO (Band), Super Junior
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 20:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4890790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel110/pseuds/Angel110
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heechul and ZiTao just finished filming for the day and got the chance to get closer.</p><p>Or</p><p>Only someone who had been there once already could understand the pain he was going through. ZiTao was glad to have found someone he could pour his heart out to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Seek Comfort

Filming was over and ZiTao was looking at his sunbae with apologetic puppy eyes and pouty lips. "I am sorry, Hyung. I didn't want to lose but I was serious about never having played baseball before. I may be good in most sports but now we all know I am terrible at baseball."

 

"It's totally alright, Taozi. We had a lot of fun, that's all that matters. Thanks for joining this episode." Heechul smiled and ruffled his taller dongsaeng's hair. They were still sitting at the filming set and having a cup of coffee while chatting. It was a good chance to get closer. At the company they were too busy to just chat comfortably and barely saw each other because of their individual schedules of their own or their representative bands.

 

The Chinese rapper nodded with a smile and wasn't even mad that his hair was a mess now. "It was much fun with you, hyung. I am looking forward to the following three days of filming with you. How are the preparations for your mini album going?"

 

Besides filming for that variety show Heechul was also busy with a mini album together with label mate and friend Jungmo. M&D was going to live up again and he would hopefully make his dear Petals happy with their new songs. "Very good. We will be filming the MV soon and I am so excited already. Jungmo and me will do everything by ourselves and I can wear that crazy outfit from 2006 again. I can't wait to tell my fans about it."

 

"Whoa, hyung. You seem very happy about it despite the much work and your tight schedule. I envy you. I want to make my own songs and music videos too. Fannie and me talked a lot about working together like Eunhyuk hyung and Donghae hyung before he left." The blonde male sighed and took a sip from his coffee. The pain of Yifan leaving was still sitting very deep and Heechul understood all too well. He had gone through the same like his dongsaeng and label mate. The older male smiled softly and took ZiTao's hand over the table in both his hands.

 

"He hasn't forgotten you and never will, Taozi. I know you guys are still keeping in touch from a very reliable source." He winked. "But I understand your pain. Back then when Hangeng left ... I was a mess. Jungsoo had to force feed me because I thought Hannie had erased me out of his life. Later I found out that he wanted to contact me by mail but I never received anything. He always thought about me and is still thinking about me. I am confident that he will come back and Yifan will too."

 

ZiTao sniffled and nodded softly, quickly wiping the tears that wanted to escape his eyes. "I wish I could just follow him and kick his ass back here but I guess he is really better off on his own ..."

 

Heechul laughed softly and helped ZiTao wipe his tears. He could be serious and gentle when needed other than on TV and other shows. "You really want to bruise his cute butt? I think you know a better way of punishing him. You and Yifan, did or do you two also have romantic feelings for each other?"

 

The Chinese male nodded softly again and looked at his sunbae with a smile. "The day he left we were together for around three months. We hid it from everyone, even our members. I can't tell any of them, it was a promise between Fannie and me."

 

“Heechul, ZiTao, filming is over. Don't you want to go home and take a break?” It was Super Junior's manager that came that day to check if everything was going well with the two idols.

“Yeah, that's a good idea. Wanna come home with me and stay over tonight, Tao? We can talk some more in peace then.” Heechul suggested and stood up with his coffee in his hands. The staff was leaving too and the guests left long ago already to get some sleep before Heechul would wake them up so early in the morning again.

The tall Chinese male smiled and nodded as he stood up and took out his phone. “I would love to, hyung. I just need to call Suho hyung and ask him to bring me some clothes tomorrow or any other member that has time.”

“You could also just borrow some clothes from Wonnie and I think Mimi has forgotten some clothes too. I am sure he won't mind you lending them. Mine are a little too short for you.” Heechul chuckled and patted his manager's shoulder. “Thanks for coming over. Rest well and get some sleep, hyung.”

“Alright, be careful when driving, Heechul. I don't want to wake up to news saying two top idols got into a car accident. Sleep well, you two. Tao, tell Joonmyeon that you won't be at home tonight or he will freak out and ring us all out of the bed.” The Super Junior manager grinned and waved as he left.

Heechul nodded to ZiTao for him to call his leader while he took out the keys for his car and checked his phone for new messages, the kids were spamming him again. One time he had forgotten to mute his phone and was so embarrassed at the drama filming set. Since then he always made sure to mute his phone when he left the dorm.

The Super Junior member chuckled when he heard bits of ZiTao's conversation with his leader. Joonmyeon was just as caring as Jungsoo but probably a little too caring sometimes.

“Hyung~ You know nothing will happen to me when I am with the SuJu sunbaes. I am not a baby anymore and I can do wushu. You are worrying way too much. I will be alright. … Neh. … Neh, hyung. … Jalja.” ZiTao puffed his cheeks after ending the call and stepping next to Heechul.

“Overworried leader?” Heechul chuckled and received a nod. He took the EXO rapper's hand and made him follow him to his car. “I know that too well. Jungsoo worries a lot about us too. Especially, because of the sasaengs out there. But he should know that you are safe with us.”

ZiTao smiled as he held hands with the fellow rapper and singer and felt very comfortable. “It's just that he is suddenly so afraid of losing any of us after Fannie left so suddenly. He told me he liked Fannie a lot, another reason why I can't tell him about me and Fannie and why I can't ask him for comfort. He is so heartbroken already.”

“Oh … Then you really shouldn't tell him. But now you have me to know about it and you can come to me whenever you seek comfort. Just give me a call or come to our dorm. You are always welcomed.” Heechul smiled and opened the door to his car for his label mate to get inside before he got into the driver's seat.

“Thank you, hyung. That means a lot to me. I knew I could trust you with this matter and you would understand me best.” The tall Chinese smiled back and buckled up his seat belt.

The drive to the dorm went over quick and they changed the topic for the drive, chatting about this and that. As they arrived at the dorm Heechul could see the lights in their windows, his dongsaengs were still up or some of them. Hopefully they wouldn't annoy them or do anything stupid again. He didn't want to take the blame on himself another time for any reparations to be made in their dorm.

“We are there. Don't be shy. Only because the others are older than you doesn't mean you need to be so polite. They are still big kids.” Heechul grinned and got out of his car, waiting for his dongsaeng to follow him.

The tall male chuckled softly and skipped out of the car as his hand was taken by Heechul again, a faint blush spreading on his cheeks. “They won't be mad? It will really be okay?”

“Of course, if they say anything I will just look at them and they will quiet down.” The Super Junior singer took his bag out of the back of his car and then walked up to their dorm with ZiTao following him, still hand in hand.

“Hyung, I am really not causing you any inconveniences? I can still call Suho hyung to come pick me up.” The older male shook his head and laughed softly as the took the elevator to the 11th floor.

“You are so adorable, TaoZi. I really like you. Don't worry, I am a very direct person. If I didn't want you to stay over, I would have told you long ago. Now, calm down and enjoy the time here. The others are a little crazier at home than at the agency but you will get used to it real quick.” Heechul let go of ZiTao's hand and took out his keys to open the door to the dorm.

“Kids, I am home! Ah!” The second oldest of Super Junior widened his eyes as one of his members jumped him suddenly.

“Hyung, why didn't you come sooner? We are having so much fun and you are not here. Teukkie said we will celebrate our tenth year anniversary with Super Junior and our ELF really big. Hyukkie! Heechul is at home! Oh … You brought a visitor? Hi, Tao.” Donghae was clinging to the very confused Heechul. He was seemingly very drunk and Hyukjae walked up behind him in a pretty sober stage.

“Hi, Tao, Chullie hyung. Sorry, Hae had a little too much. I will bring him to bed. Don't be mad at him, hyung.” Hyukjae kept it simple and short before pulling his best friend off Heechul and dragging him to their shared room. Heechul just shook his head and took ZiTao's hand again.

“Ignore them, sometimes Donghae drinks a little too much. Are you hungry?” The older male smiled and walked to the kitchen together with his guest. But he quickly turned around as he saw the mess in there and walked ZiTao to his room.

“You wait here. I will get us some cup ramen.” ZiTao still didn't have a chance to say anything, he was just sat down on Heechul's pink bed in his pretty mixed looking room. Heebum and Cherry, Heechul's kittens walked up to the new guest and sniffed at him, rubbing their bodies against his legs. His sunbae just left to get them something to eat and he was left alone in the pretty comfy room.

“Your owner is very weird sometimes. Say, is it true that he likes these anime girls so much?” ZiTao grinned and patted the kittens gently, of course receiving no answer. Heechul's room really looked like he had shown on TV once or twice and the Chinese male wasn't very surprised as he saw the anime printed bed sheets and the collection of Frozen items. He felt very comfortable in this room and laid back onto the bed. He wondered where he would sleep this night.

Heechul walked back inside his room with two steaming cups of ramen in his hands, a smile on his lips as he saw ZiTao lying on his bed and his kittens jump next to the adorable male. “Feel special. Heebum and Cherry usually don't like new faces.”

ZiTao sat up within a few seconds, startled by the sudden appearance of Heechul. “O-oh, you are back, hyung. I am sorry, I should have asked you before laying in your bed. I am sorry.”

“Oh, Tao. You are so, so adorable. Feel like home here. You will sleep in my bed tonight anyway. Here, I got you some ramen.”

“And where will you sleep, hyung?” ZiTao gratefully took the cup of noodles and the pair of chopsticks he was offered as Heechul sat next to him and looked at him.

“Next to you? Where else, silly? Now eat and then let's get that weight off your heart. You can tell me everything.” Heechul smiled and started to eat his ramen, looking amused at the blushing EXO rapper.

“O-okay, hyung. If you say so. And do I need to? I will only end up crying like a baby.” ZiTao murmured as he also ate his ramen and looked down at the kitten in his lap, identifying it as Heebum and caressing its fur.

Heechul nodded and chewed happily. “You will feel better once you let everything out. Trust your hyung, I have been there once. Siwonnie lent me his shoulder and I cried a lot and he just listened to me and let me cry and I really felt better. But first let's eat up.”

ZiTao nodded and quietly ate his cup of ramen, sorting in his head what he would tell his sunbae and how he did it the best without crying too much. Heechul kept smiling at him and gently caressed his thigh to give the other some comfort. After finishing their noodles Heechul put the empty cups aside and made himself comfrotable on his bed, lying on his side and signaling ZiTao to do the same.

“Now, talk your mind off. Let everything out. Maybe start how you and YiFan got together? I am really curious. I didn't expect your dragon leader to be into men.” The Super Junior singer took ZiTao's hand and played with his fingers, one of his weird but loveable habits.

"Well ... Where should I start ...," ZiTao sighed softly with a slight smile on his lips and looked at his fingers, not minding Heechul playing with them. At least he had an excuse why he didn't look the older male into his face. "It was somewhere around the Growl era when I realized that I had special feeling for our leader. After a few month I took all my courage together and told him. He was shocked at first and even kind of tried to avoid me for a while. I was broken. I thought about quitting Exo but then, a few months before we would release Overdose ... Guess what he did, hyung."

ZiTao looked at Heechul with a bright smile but sad eyes as the other hummed in thought. "I don't know. Did he strip for you?" He grinned cheekily and made ZiTao laugh softly and blush.

"No, but he did that at a later part of our relationship. One evening I came home from my individual schedule and went to our shared room. He was so cute, I didn't expect him to be so romantic. There were rose petals on my bed and a few candles were lighting our room and there was a letter. Yifan was sleeping so I just took the letter and read it. He wrote that he was afraid of what was happening to him and the strange feelings he suddenly had because of me, that he couldn't eat or sleep, at least when I was near him. I cried while reading it and woke him up. He was so shy at this moment back then, hyung."

Heechul listened intently the whole time and scooted a little closer to his dongsaeng to hug him gently because he could see tears glisten in his eyes. "That sounds very cute. Continue, I don't want to interrupt you. Did he kiss you first?"

The Chinese male nodded and hummed softly. "I asked him about the letter. Whether it was true. He froze and didn't say anything for a few seconds and then it was like in a cheesy movie. He just leaned forward and I closed my eyes and then I could feel his soft lips on mine. How much I miss them ... Since then we were dating and hiding it well. But ...," Another sigh left his lips. "He started to hide things from me. He started to close himself up. Until ..."

"Everything is okay, Taozi. Hyung is here. Don't hold it back, just cry." Heechul whispered as he noticed that his dongsaeng was forcing himself to hold everything back. The Super Junior singer held him close despite their height difference and stroked his back soothingly.

"H-hyung, he just left without t-telling me. H-he didn't leave me a-any message behind. A-after about one month I finally got a text message w-with three words, hyung. Three damn words." It didn't take much for the young rapper to break and finally let out the pain he had buried inside him for so long. It got Heechul close to tears too but he blinked them away and held his dongsaeng as close as possible.

"What three words, Taozi? Tell hyung, please." He whispered and placed a kiss on ZiTao's temple before wiping some of his tears.

ZiTao sobbed and tried to calm down a bit. "I-I love y-you. That was h-his message, hyung. I l-love you. If he loved m-me why did he d-do this to m-me?"

"He sure had his reasons ... just like Hangeng ... He never gave me an answer. I asked him the same but it will forever remain a secret. When I am thinking about a possible answer then I always try to make myself believe that he did it for me. That he left to change something and that he left so he could not get hurt and I could not get hurt because he got hurt. Now he is finally living a healthy and good life. Ask yourself again, Taozi. How does Yifan's smile look to you now that he isn't here in SME anymore?" Heechul wiped some more tears away and made ZiTao look at him.

ZiTao thought for a moment and chewed on his lower lip. "Happier? But ... wasn't I-I enough of a r-reason to stay? I may s-sound selfish but h-he can't leave a-after finally getting together w-with me, hyung."

"Okay, listen to your wise, old hyung for a moment. They didn't want to hurt us by leaving. They wanted to keep us happy. I was probably as much worried about Hannie's health as you were about Yifan's. If they had stayed any longer we would have got sadder and more worried and it would have pulled us down as well. They didn't want that to happen. Sure, we were, are in a big pain after they left but at least we are sure now that they are doing well and are healthy. Do you understand what I mean, Taozi?"

ZiTao nodded and wiped his tears as he clung to his sunbae for comfort. "I miss him so much, hyung. So so much and I feel much better now that I have someone to share my feelings with. Thank you, hyung. Sorry for wetting your shirt with my tears."

Heechul chuckled softly and stroked the taller male's hair gently. "That's what I am for. No need to apologize. Just come to me whenever you seek comfort or have a question you don't want to ask your members. I will be there for you, TaoZi."

ZiTao smiled at Heechul with teary eyes and closed them as he got a kiss on his forehead and some kisses on other spots on his face. "Siwon used to do that to me and I felt safe. It is not the same as from our boyfriends but it takes some pain off your heart."

"It really does, hyung. Thank you." The Chinese rapper whispered with his raspy voice and looked into Heechul's eyes as they slowly leaned closer and closer. They eyes closed automatically as their lips met. Yes, it wasn't the same as from their lovers but they were sharing their pain and it was something only they could understand.

Two pairs of plush lips moved against each other slowly, there was no love, no lust involved, it was just the seek of comfort that they found in this kiss. 

A pair of arms was wrapped around ZiTao's waist, the other pair around Heechul's neck and the height difference went unnoticed. Just as the air started to get less and less both males parted and looked at each other with flushed cheeks but a smile while catching their breath.

There was no need to exchange words and so Heechul held ZiTao close until they both fell into a safe and sound sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this one shot :) It was first posted on aff where I am writing under the same name~ Please, leave some comments^^


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